"Should I wait until I’m sure before I file a report?" In most situations you do not need to wait to have “evidence” of child abuse to file a report to child protective services or police. However, it is always best when there is some symptom, behavior or conversation that you can identify or...
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If you’re not really sure they have a problem: Letting someone know that their abusive behaviors are not invisible to others can be an effective measure in helping an adult stay safe from crossing the line with a child. Some adults do not understand fully what behavior is appropriate with children...
It can be hard to understand what causes someone to sexually abuse a child. Just as there is no such thing as a “typical sex offender”, there is no one pathway to becoming someone who sexually abuses children. Treatment providers have said the one thing people who sexually abuse children are most...
Talking to kids can be an important part of prevention. “How much should I explain to them?” Many parents struggle with the question “what do I tell my kids?” As your children grow and mature, each family must decide what works for the culture of their particular household. What is most important...
For the person who has been victimized: No matter what is revealed by a child who has eperienced sexual abuse, reassure them that you believe them, that you love them, and that you are committed to helping them. Recognize that many children are not able to speak up about what happened, or may take...
All children are curious about sex. The more children know about their own sexuality, the less likely it is that others will take advantage of them because of their lack of knowledge. Having ongoing conversations with children and teens about their own developing sexuality is an important part of...
Don’t wait. If you are concerned about keeping your child safe from sexual abuse, now is the time to create a safer environment for everyone in your family. Prevention means promoting healthy behaviors rather than waiting to punish violations. The most effective sexual abuse prevention happens...
"I have mixed feelings about filing." More often, concerns lie in a “gray area” of vague uneasiness, sketchy details or uncertainty about what is actually happening. The decision to file a report regarding child abuse of any kind is almost always complicated by the reporter’s relationship to the...
Talking to kids can assist in prevention What do I tell my kids? Many parents struggle with this question. As your children grow and mature, each family must decide what works for the culture of their particular household. What is most important for kids to understand is that abuse is never a child...
Touching and Non-Touching Behaviors
There are many reasons why it’s difficult to speak about child sexual abuse, especially as it affects our own lives or the lives of those we care about. In most societies child sexual abuse is a taboo topic, making it difficult for most people to talk about it openly. Other obstacles include...
Trust your gut If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right you might be tempted just to ignore it. Talking about sex is never easy. Talking about sexual abuse is even harder, especially when you care about the people involved. But your gut feeling is a reaction to something real that you...
When a child discloses sexual abuse, here are some important things that the child will need you to do: Stay steady The child will look to you for cues that they will be okay. Unquestionably, sexual abuse can change a child’s view of the world. Yet, regardless of how devastated you are, they need...
Decide first if it is safe for you to have a conversation When your safety is at risk, it is simply not an option to speak directly with the person whom you know or suspect has abused a child, particularly in situations of domestic violence. In such instances it’s advisable to speak with a domestic...
Find a specialist you are comfortable with Instead of bringing your child to a general child therapist, look for a professional therapist or counselor who works primarily with children who have been sexually abused, and who has specialized training and experience treating sexually abused children...
Many members of the household may feel that trust has been betrayed Family members discovering that sexual abuse has occurred at home may have a sense that their home is not what they thought it was – a safe place for everyone. Or perhaps a general feeling of loss that their whole world is not what...
What stops us from seeing abuse? It’s very disturbing to imagine that someone you know could be sexually harming a child. Without certain proof of abuse, it’s so much easier to dismiss such thoughts or to think you’re overreacting. You may also be worried about the possible consequences of taking...
Not everything you share with a therapist can be kept confidential. What an individual tells his or her therapist is confidential; however, there are limitations to the confidentiality between a therapist and a client. Laws in all 50 states require a therapist to contact authorities if a patient is...
Child Protective Services protects children from caregivers who may be harming them Child Protective Services (CPS) is a branch of your state’s social services department that is responsible for the assessment, investigation and intervention regarding cases of child abuse and neglect, including...
Who participates in the investigation? Investigations may be managed by child protective services (CPS), by the police, or by both. When criminal acts may have taken place, only the police can make arrests. The team of professionals involved in investigations can include a child protective services...
The system is imperfect, but don’t give up Sometimes those whose job it is to protect children simply don’t have enough information to proceed with a full investigation or set orders or mandates that will protect a child from harm. It can actually be extremely frustrating for CPS workers and police...
Decide first if it is safe for you to have a conversation When your safety is at risk, it is simply not an option to speak directly with the person whom you know or suspect has abused a child, particularly in situations of domestic violence. In such instances it’s advisable to speak with a domestic...
Every situation is unique. Reacting to a child’s disclosure of sexual abuse with the right amount of appropriateness, care and sensitivity is not easy. No one ever does it perfectly. And if, in addition, the person committing the abuse is someone we love, the sense of betrayal makes it more complex...
For protective adults, a wide range of emotional reactions are possible Following a disclosure, reactions can vary greatly for non-offending parents and other protective adults. You may feel surprised by some of your thoughts and feelings and might find it difficult to share them with others. Below...
It is very hard to predict how the person who has abused will respond. Once the adult or youth who has been harmful is aware that this behavior has been exposed, they may experience a number of different reactions. These reactions can range from fear and remorse to outright denial. It is important...