"Should I wait until I’m sure before I file a report?" In most situations you do not need to wait to have “evidence” of child abuse to file a report to child protective services or police. However, it is always best when there is some symptom, behavior or conversation that you can identify or...
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If you’re not really sure they have a problem: Letting someone know that their abusive behaviors are not invisible to others can be an effective measure in helping an adult stay safe from crossing the line with a child. Some adults do not understand fully what behavior is appropriate with children...
Child sexual abuse can also include behaviors that do not involve touching or physical contact. These behaviors can be just as upsetting and emotionally harmful to a child as some touching behaviors. Non-touching behaviors that are considered to be child sexual abuse include: Showing pornography to...
It can be hard to understand what causes someone to sexually abuse a child. Just as there is no such thing as a “typical sex offender”, there is no one pathway to becoming someone who sexually abuses children. Treatment providers have said the one thing people who sexually abuse children are most...
Talking to kids can be an important part of prevention. “How much should I explain to them?” Many parents struggle with the question “what do I tell my kids?” As your children grow and mature, each family must decide what works for the culture of their particular household. What is most important...
For the person who has been victimized: No matter what is revealed by a child who has eperienced sexual abuse, reassure them that you believe them, that you love them, and that you are committed to helping them. Recognize that many children are not able to speak up about what happened, or may take...
All children are curious about sex. The more children know about their own sexuality, the less likely it is that others will take advantage of them because of their lack of knowledge. Having ongoing conversations with children and teens about their own developing sexuality is an important part of...
Don’t wait. If you are concerned about keeping your child safe from sexual abuse, now is the time to create a safer environment for everyone in your family. Prevention means promoting healthy behaviors rather than waiting to punish violations. The most effective sexual abuse prevention happens...
"I have mixed feelings about filing." More often, concerns lie in a “gray area” of vague uneasiness, sketchy details or uncertainty about what is actually happening. The decision to file a report regarding child abuse of any kind is almost always complicated by the reporter’s relationship to the...
Talking to kids can assist in prevention What do I tell my kids? Many parents struggle with this question. As your children grow and mature, each family must decide what works for the culture of their particular household. What is most important for kids to understand is that abuse is never a child...
“When do I file?” If you suspect a child is being sexually abused, getting the proper help and support is vital. Typically, the situations that require reporting are: A child and/or adult shows numerous and consistent warning signs of abuse or being at risk to abuse A child has stated that he or...
Touching and Non-Touching Behaviors
There are many reasons why it’s difficult to speak about child sexual abuse, especially as it affects our own lives or the lives of those we care about. In most societies child sexual abuse is a taboo topic, making it difficult for most people to talk about it openly. Other obstacles include...
Trust your gut If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right you might be tempted just to ignore it. Talking about sex is never easy. Talking about sexual abuse is even harder, especially when you care about the people involved. But your gut feeling is a reaction to something real that you...
When a child discloses sexual abuse, here are some important things that the child will need you to do: Stay steady The child will look to you for cues that they will be okay. Unquestionably, sexual abuse can change a child’s view of the world. Yet, regardless of how devastated you are, they need...
Decide first if it is safe for you to have a conversation When your safety is at risk, it is simply not an option to speak directly with the person whom you know or suspect has abused a child, particularly in situations of domestic violence. In such instances it’s advisable to speak with a domestic...
Many members of the household may feel that trust has been betrayed Family members discovering that sexual abuse has occurred at home may have a sense that their home is not what they thought it was – a safe place for everyone. Or perhaps a general feeling of loss that their whole world is not what...
What stops us from seeing abuse? It’s very disturbing to imagine that someone you know could be sexually harming a child. Without certain proof of abuse, it’s so much easier to dismiss such thoughts or to think you’re overreacting. You may also be worried about the possible consequences of taking...
Take care of yourself with these 5 actions Learning that a child has been abused or has offended is a time of trauma for protective parents and caregivers who have specific needs of their own. Often the needs of the protective parent are neglected by other supportive adults and professionals. It is...
Not everything you share with a therapist can be kept confidential. What an individual tells his or her therapist is confidential; however, there are limitations to the confidentiality between a therapist and a client. Laws in all 50 states require a therapist to contact authorities if a patient is...
Who participates in the investigation? Investigations may be managed by child protective services (CPS), by the police, or by both. When criminal acts may have taken place, only the police can make arrests. The team of professionals involved in investigations can include a child protective services...
Decide first if it is safe for you to have a conversation When your safety is at risk, it is simply not an option to speak directly with the person whom you know or suspect has abused a child, particularly in situations of domestic violence. In such instances it’s advisable to speak with a domestic...
Risk of being perceived as a negligent or "unfit" parent Take steps immediately when you realize a child is at risk or has been harmed. It is critical that you demonstrate your serious concern by doing what you can to prevent any additional abuse of the child. If it is determined by child...
Proving child sexual abuse in family court can be difficult When child custody cases involve suspected or confirmed situations of sexual abuse of the children the family court experience can evolve into a complicated and often painful experience for everyone involved. In some cases children can be...