The Internet makes it easy to cross the line
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Do you need help? If you are wondering about your own sexual thoughts and behaviors toward children, we encourage you to answer these questions honestly. They are designed to help you decide whether you may need help. Take a few minutes to ask yourself the following twelve questions. If you answer...
What stops us from seeing abuse? It’s very disturbing to imagine that someone you know could be sexually harming a child. Without certain proof of abuse, it’s so much easier to dismiss such thoughts or to think you’re overreacting. You may also be worried about the possible consequences of taking...
There is no doubt that loving support is key to helping a child heal from sexual abuse or overcome a sexual behavior problem. But sometimes we can feel loving without knowing what loving steps we can take to help our children. As a parent or caretaker, here are some loving actions you can take to...
Not everything you share with a therapist can be kept confidential. What an individual tells his or her therapist is confidential; however, there are limitations to the confidentiality between a therapist and a client. Laws in all 50 states require a therapist to contact authorities if a patient is...
Child Protective Services protects children from caregivers who may be harming them Child Protective Services (CPS) is a branch of your state’s social services department that is responsible for the assessment, investigation and intervention regarding cases of child abuse and neglect, including...
Who participates in the investigation? Investigations may be managed by child protective services (CPS), by the police, or by both. When criminal acts may have taken place, only the police can make arrests. The team of professionals involved in investigations can include a child protective services...
The system is imperfect, but don’t give up Sometimes those whose job it is to protect children simply don’t have enough information to proceed with a full investigation or set orders or mandates that will protect a child from harm. It can actually be extremely frustrating for CPS workers and police...
Not knowing what might happen next makes it hard to reach out for help Sometimes people who have been sexual with children are afraid to reach out for help because they don't know what might happen to them or their family. Child sexual abuse is a crime and must be dealt with through the child...
The registries don’t keep children safe, protective adults do The state by state sex offender registries were meant to assist law enforcement and probation and parole officers in the supervision of those who have been convicted of sex crimes not to create conditions of greater danger to community...
Over 90% of the time, children are sexually abused by someone they know, trust, or love. Even when we know and believe this statistic as a fact it can be hard to believe that someone we know and love could also be sexually inappropriate or sexually abuse a child. It can be hard to reconcile the...
Decide first if it is safe for you to have a conversation When your safety is at risk, it is simply not an option to speak directly with the person whom you know or suspect has abused a child, particularly in situations of domestic violence. In such instances it’s advisable to speak with a domestic...
Feeling caught in a loyalty bind If you’re the non-offending parent of a child who has been abused by a sibling or by the other parent, you can find yourself caught in a painful bind. As a loving parent, you want to do everything in your power to protect the abused child, keep them safe, comfort...
There are many possibilities for what might cause inappropriate sexual behavior of a child to another. People are often surprised to learn that, in fact, over a third of all sexual abuse of children is committed by someone under the age of 18 who usually is a family member. Children may engage in...
Yes. There is a range of help for children whose sexual behaviors are concerning. The most important thing is to act, and act quickly. There are a lot of reasons why a child may be acting out sexually, and a therapist who specializes in children’s sexual behaviors will address all aspects of a...
Not all inappropriate sexual behavior indicates a significant problem. Not all children who show sexually concerning behavior have an established sexual behavior problem requiring ongoing professional attention. For some kids there may have been a one-time lapse in judgment. Some young children act...
Children and teens who abuse are not just smaller versions of adults who abuse.
No, most children who have been sexually abused do NOT go on to sexually abuse children Just as there is no such thing as a typical “sexual abuser” there is no such thing as a typical “victim.” How children process the experience of having been sexually abused varies widely and depends on many...
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Many people who sexually abuse children have shared that they had sexual thoughts or fantasies about children before they ever acted on those thoughts and feelings. And, many people who have sexual thoughts or fantasies about children never act on those thoughts or feelings. Sexual thoughts or...
Get help before you act on your sexual thoughts or feelings towards children. Even though it may be hard to tell someone you are having sexual thoughts or feelings towards children, it will be much harder to get help after you have harmed a child. Find someone you can talk with about your feelings...
Now is the time to seek help. If you know someone who is having sexual thoughts about children or who feels sexually aroused by a child’s presence, this is the time to seek help. It is important to that they take steps now to keep themselves from being sexual in the presence of a child. With...
Do I need help if I haven't crossed the line? Many people wish they had sought help before they crossed the line and sexually abused a child. Through research we've learned that many adults who sexually abused a child wanted to stop but didn't know how. If you have sexually abused child, it is not...
“I was in a lot of pain... My big concern was that nobody knew what I did. I didn't want anybody to know I was a pedophile. I thought, "That's the bottom of the totem pole," not realizing that the only way I was NOT going to be a pedophile for life was to get help and to learn to change myself...