Family fallout - Ruptured relationships When someone takes the risk of speaking up on behalf of a child often other relationships are impacted. When planning to speak about the sexual abuse of a child we anticipate that our relationship with a spouse, family friend, in-law, grandparent, church,...
Online Help Center Results
If you are thinking of speaking up about a possible situation of child sexual abuse, you may face practical concerns of how this will impact your family. Here are answers to some common questions people face when deciding how to take action on concerning behaviors. How will my relationships survive...
Trust your gut If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right you might be tempted just to ignore it. Talking about sex is never easy. Talking about sexual abuse is even harder, especially when you care about the people involved. But your gut feeling is a reaction to something real that you...
Asking for help breaks the isolation The reasons why some adults think of behaving sexually with a child are complex. In fact, most adults who have sexual fantasies about children may find these thoughts worrisome – and they don’t want to harm a child. There is a lot of shame, stigma, and fear...
"I am a survivor worried about a situation where a child may be at risk." You have valuable instincts that can help prevent abuse If you are concerned about the safety of a child, we encourage you to trust your gut feelings. Sometimes vague feelings of discomfort or the sense that “something just...
When a child discloses sexual abuse, here are some important things that the child will need you to do: Stay steady The child will look to you for cues that they will be okay. Unquestionably, sexual abuse can change a child’s view of the world. Yet, regardless of how devastated you are, they need...
Decide first if it is safe for you to have a conversation When your safety is at risk, it is simply not an option to speak directly with the person whom you know or suspect has abused a child, particularly in situations of domestic violence. In such instances it’s advisable to speak with a domestic...
Treatment for people who have sexually abused is different than other therapy for adults
Many members of the household may feel that trust has been betrayed Family members discovering that sexual abuse has occurred at home may have a sense that their home is not what they thought it was – a safe place for everyone. Or perhaps a general feeling of loss that their whole world is not what...
What stops us from seeing abuse? It’s very disturbing to imagine that someone you know could be sexually harming a child. Without certain proof of abuse, it’s so much easier to dismiss such thoughts or to think you’re overreacting. You may also be worried about the possible consequences of taking...
Take care of yourself with these 5 actions Learning that a child has been abused or has offended is a time of trauma for protective parents and caregivers who have specific needs of their own. Often the needs of the protective parent are neglected by other supportive adults and professionals. It is...
Not everything you share with a therapist can be kept confidential. What an individual tells his or her therapist is confidential; however, there are limitations to the confidentiality between a therapist and a client. Laws in all 50 states require a therapist to contact authorities if a patient is...
Who participates in the investigation? Investigations may be managed by child protective services (CPS), by the police, or by both. When criminal acts may have taken place, only the police can make arrests. The team of professionals involved in investigations can include a child protective services...
Not knowing what might happen next makes it hard to reach out for help Sometimes people who have been sexual with children are afraid to reach out for help because they don't know what might happen to them or their family. Child sexual abuse is a crime and must be dealt with through the child...
The registries don’t keep children safe, protective adults do The state by state sex offender registries were meant to assist law enforcement and probation and parole officers in the supervision of those who have been convicted of sex crimes not to create conditions of greater danger to community...
Over 90% of the time, children are sexually abused by someone they know, trust, or love. Even when we know and believe this statistic as a fact it can be hard to believe that someone we know and love could also be sexually inappropriate or sexually abuse a child. It can be hard to reconcile the...
We already know how difficult it is for children to talk about experiencing sexual harm or abuse, whether by an adult or by another child. When sexually abusive behavior occurs online, some children may not even realize they are being abused or exploited; and those who do still may not tell anyone...
Decide first if it is safe for you to have a conversation When your safety is at risk, it is simply not an option to speak directly with the person whom you know or suspect has abused a child, particularly in situations of domestic violence. In such instances it’s advisable to speak with a domestic...
Feeling caught in a loyalty bind If you’re the non-offending parent of a child who has been abused by a sibling or by the other parent, you can find yourself caught in a painful bind. As a loving parent, you want to do everything in your power to protect the abused child, keep them safe, comfort...
Risk of being perceived as a negligent or "unfit" parent Take steps immediately when you realize a child is at risk or has been harmed. It is critical that you demonstrate your serious concern by doing what you can to prevent any additional abuse of the child. If it is determined by child...
Proving child sexual abuse in family court can be difficult When child custody cases involve suspected or confirmed situations of sexual abuse of the children the family court experience can evolve into a complicated and often painful experience for everyone involved. In some cases children can be...
No, most children who have been sexually abused do NOT go on to sexually abuse children Just as there is no such thing as a typical “sexual abuser” there is no such thing as a typical “victim.” How children process the experience of having been sexually abused varies widely and depends on many...
Many people who sexually abuse children have shared that they had sexual thoughts or fantasies about children before they ever acted on those thoughts and feelings. And, many people who have sexual thoughts or fantasies about children never act on those thoughts or feelings. Sexual thoughts or...