What stops us from seeing child sexual abuse?

FAQ Category:

Survivor

It’s very disturbing to imagine that someone you know, love, like or trust could be sexually abusing a child. Without proof of abuse (like walking in on the abuse happening, an STI or pregnancy in a younger child, a disclosure of abuse from a child etc.), it’s much easier for a person to dismiss their thoughts or to think they’re overreacting.

Many people are also worried about the possible consequences of taking action, especially if the concern involves someone they or their family depend on for financial, emotional or social support. One of the common thoughts many parents have is: "My child would have told me if they were being abused and they haven't, so it can't be happening." Similarly, many caregivers think, “They’re [the adult] is too nice [or too young/old, or that they have a spouse/family, etc.] so they couldn’t be engaging in abusive behavior.” It’s also normal for many people to be worried they may ruin that person’s life if they say something and they’re wrong. But there are more ways to speak up than to accuse, and the sooner we do so, the sooner everyone involved in a situation can get help - like before a legal line is crossed.

People who sexually abuse children look just like you and me, and they have relationships like you and me too; they can be our relatives, children, a friend, partner or another loved one, or someone well respected in our community. People cross boundaries and abuse children for many different reasons, but often, there are small signs that adults need to respond to proactively so they can protect a child before harm occurs. Unfortunately though, people often wait until after a child has been abused before they take action. Many individuals have lived through the discovery that someone close to them was abusing a child, and then when they look back, they wonder how they missed the signs. But when something is so difficult to think about, it’s only human to find ways of denying it to ourselves. Common misunderstandings about sexual abuse often contribute to that denial. When adults trust their gut feelings they can speak with another adult, safety plan, ensure a child is safe and ultimately, they can prevent child sexual abuse from happening.

You can reach out to our Helpline now if you’re worried about a youth or adult’s boundary-crossing behavior, and we can talk through what your next steps can look like.

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